Dreams
by Swift tales
Summary: Ryan doesn't like to sleep. Ryan doesn't like to dream Eric wants to forget, he doesn't like to remember Horatio is getting sick of all of it Eric goes for it RyanEric slash
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own

Ryan didn't like sleeping, actually if he was completely honest Ryan hated sleeping. He always felt like he was sleeping too long, had wasted too much time lying in a bed with his eyes closed. He always felt like he was sleeping his life away instead of living it. He likes to think it's because of his job, because the dead always have their eyes closed and look like they're sleeping. But he knows that's not true because he didn't like sleeping as a kid either.

Ryan hates sleeping, but what he hates even more is dreaming. That's different from when he was younger because when he was younger dreaming was the only aspect of sleeping he could tolerate. But now he hates to dream because all he can dream about is soft brown skin and full lips and tongue and teeth and oh God… right there! He dreams of a smooth voice whispering to him in Cuban and Russian and he dreams about that voice telling him he loves him and he dreams about happy endings and when he wakes up he wants to burst into tears because he knows he'll never have it.

So Ryan only sleeps as much as he needs to sleep to function. Because when Ryan sleeps he dreams and dreaming is something that he can't bear to do anymore. His dreams have changed, he used to dream about becoming a CSI. He has accomplished his dreams, it's only natural that when one has fulfilled a dream another dream must come in place because you always need something to strive too. You always have to have a dream to keep you going.

But he doesn't want to dream anymore, he doesn't want to dream about being in love with a beautiful Cuban Russian and he doesn't want to dream about having that Cuban Russian in love with him. When he dreamed about being a CSI, it was an attainable goal, but now he dreams of deep chocolate brown eyes and he knows that's something he can never have, a dream he can never fulfil.

He only sleeps four hours a day, but he tells himself it's alright, he tells himself he's not exhausted, he tells himself he doesn't need anymore sleep, he tells himself he can't afford to lose more time, he tells himself the dreams don't break his heart. He tells himself a lot of things. He tells himself that when he comes home to an empty, spick and span condo he doesn't feel like flopping down on his bed and never getting up.

Because even though Ryan hates sleeping and even though Ryan hates the dreams he's addicted to them. They're the only images he's going to get, they're the only sample of what he wants so desperately he can feel it in his bones and he's addicted to them. He can clearly remember that he didn't want the CSI job as much as he wants this and it depresses him. He wanted the CSI job and he got the CSI job, but even though this is what he wants even more then the job, he'll never have it.

At night, when he's waking up from his four hours of sleep and when his mind is still fuzzy with images of his dream he can feel it humming in his veins.

Eric Eric Eric Eric Eric Eric

And in reality, it's all he dreams about, even when he's awake.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own.

He breaths in the smoky air.

_Another night, another girl _

He shakes his head to clear away the thought, he can't think like that, even though he knows it's true. It's another girl every night. But he doesn't care, or pretends he doesn't care, he just goes on every night. Every night he goes to a club and ends up fucking some pretty girl in a short skirt and every night he goes home alone because he can't stand the thought of taking all the different girls home with him.

His home is his haven, the only place in the world where he can fall apart and he's not going to let anyone in because he can't loose the only place where he can dream. He's looking around on the dance floor, looking for a girl he can lose himself in. A girl with dark honey blond hair and eyes as dark as night catch his attention, her olive skin glistens with sweat and he's found his hiding place for the night.

He kisses her hard in the middle of the club and she kisses back and when he presses her against the wall in one of the backrooms he's already prepared to go lost. But when he's thrusting inside of her he closes his eyes and he sees it, sees what he really wants but has been pushing away for ages.

He sees pale skin and a mop of shaggy brown hair. He sees soft brown eyes and a smile with perfect white teeth. He feels a hard chest and an answering hardness when he grinds his hips. He hears a deep moan instead of the breathy sigh. He grits his teeth and thrusts harder, because he's fucking her to forget and not to remember. He focuses on the girl now, even though she's just a nameless face and he drives them to orgasm quickly.

The girl smiles softly and strokes his cheek, he has to hang on to every shred of self control to slap her hand away. She pushes a piece of paper in his hand. "Call me." She says and then she disappears out of the backroom. He throws the paper away because he already knows he's never going to call her.

He walks to his car and gets in, rests his hand against the steering wheel and sighs. "Ryan…" He grits his teeth and shakes his head.

He used to pick up girls just like Ryan, pale skin, soft brown hair with lovely brown eyes and a shy blush when he winks at them but that was a long time ago. Now he only takes girls who are the complete opposite of Ryan. He doesn't wants to be reminded. He thinks of Ryan now, thinks of how much he wants him, thinks of how much he would give to fuck Ryan into the mattress.

He shakes his head to get rid of the images but they don't fade and Eric's breathing hitches because this has never happened. He usually thinks of Ryan during the case but ignores it because he has to focus on the evidence. He usually thinks of Ryan when they get off shift and that's when he goes to the clubs and finds the girls. When he's had a girl he doesn't think about much, goes home and gets some sleep.

He does not keep thinking about Ryan.

It comes to his mind then that maybe one girl wasn't enough and grits his teeth, because one girl has always been enough and if one girl can't fix it how can he be sure that a second girl can fix it.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself and tells himself it's just a one time deal, tomorrow he'll go into work and after that he'll find a girl and everything will be alright, everything will be okay.

He's getting better at lying to himself.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

St: there is a small mention of Horatio/Speed in this chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own

Horatio Caine is a man with an infinite amount of patience and self control. He has an iron will and someone has to go far to rattle him. But right now his self control is slipping and his iron will is cracking and those two are just getting on his nerves, plain and simple.

The moment Ryan Wolfe and Eric Delko met, he'd seen it, he'd seen the spark that flared between them and he couldn't regret the circumstances more. Eric hadn't been very forthcoming and Ryan seemed at a loss as to what to do. Eric was still angry, still hurt at Speed's death and he couldn't seem to accept Ryan. The Cuban Russian seemed determined to compare Ryan to Speed every time the two of them crossed paths and Horatio knew that no matter what Ryan did, he'd never add up.

And Ryan didn't even want to compete. The young man hadn't wanted to take Speed's place, he'd just wanted to do his job and be a CSI. Horatio had never been happier when Eric seemed to get over that stage.

Yet even now that has passed Horatio still sees the tension between the two and it's slowly driving him insane. Eric knows what he wants and obviously so does Ryan and neither is willing to do anything about it. Ryan's never going to make the first move because he's still apprehensive about Eric and too insure of himself. Eric on the other hand, thinks that Ryan hates him because of how Eric treated the other man in the beginning.

Horatio can see it, he's not the greatest investigator in Miami for nothing. He knows the two need to resolve what's between them and he knows Alex has been pushing Ryan and Eric but neither would listen to the woman. Horatio knows he should say something, anything to get one of them moving, but he isn't sure what.

For a minute he finds himself wishing Speed was still alive, because his lover would surely have known what to do. Speed would have just smacked some sense into Eric. But Horatio and Eric aren't as close friends as Speed and Eric had been and Horatio knows well enough he can't just smack Eric around.

He doesn't think he should approach Ryan about it either. The young man's OCD would kick in and he'd surely have a panic attack about his boss knowing his attraction to his colleague. So without really thinking about it he already knows the only one he can safely approach is Eric and he's still not too sure how to do that. Nonetheless he is walking towards the locker room where he knows Eric is finishing up.

He hesitates only a minute before pushing open the door and stepping in. His sunglasses are folded up neatly in his breast pocket and his piercing blue eyes are focused on Eric who gets a slight deer in the headlights expression at having all the focus of one Horatio Caine focused on his being. "Hey H." "Hello Eric." He pauses for a minute, waiting until Eric realizes that there is a reason why Horatio is standing there. He waits patiently until Eric stops stalling and turns to face him.

"So, Eric." He's still not quite sure what to say and he decides to make it up as he goes along, something he's never done before because he always has some form of plan in the back of his mind. "So, Eric, how soon do you think you can do something about the Ryan-situation?" Eric stares at him and Horatio realizes he's going to have to be more … forceful then that.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, H." "Really, because I was under the impression Eric, that you've been avoiding Mr. Wolf for quite some time now and I think I have a fairly good idea of why you've been doing it." And Eric seems to stiffen. "I think I can handle this myself, Horatio." Horatio notices that 'H' has turned into 'Horatio' and knows he's treading on thin ice, but he's never crossed the invisible line between Eric and himself and he thinks this might be the first time he'll have to too get through the younger man.

"Eric, I'm not blind. I see the way you two look at each other. You're not the only one in this." Eric looks stunned and Horatio hopes for a second that he's stunned him into thinking about this but when Eric looks up to meet his eyes those hopes are dashed. "Horatio, listen, I know you want to help and all, but you're wrong about this." Horatio shakes his head slightly. "You know I'm not. Eric, I normally don't interfere with things like this. But at one point these feelings that create tension between the two of you are going to interfere with your job and I have to make sure that doesn't happen."

"And besides being your boss, I'm also your friend Eric. I'm right about this, I know I am. Ryan won't do anything, because he's too insecure for that. So you're the one who's going to have to make the first move." And Horatio hopes that's enough, because he really, really doesn't know what else to say. So he turns around and walks away and hopes to God that Eric will make a move.

TBC

St: well, first thing, when Eric gets the deer in the headlights look in the locker room when he first sees Horatio is because he has a gut feeling that for whatever reason Horatio came down there to talk to him, it couldn't have been something trivial. And Eric listens to his gut feeling.

Just thought I should explain that because my friend who proofreads everything didn't really think it was the way Eric would react.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own.

The club is like it always is, like a huge cage filled with smoke and flashing lights and too many bodies stuffed in a too small space writhing together as an imitation of what would happen once they left the dance floor. He is among them, chocolate brown eyes searching the crowd, searching for a pretty face, a short skirt and a willing body. As usual it doesn't take him too long to find the perfect prey and he approaches her casually. As soon as she sees him, she smiles and winks and he knows he just has to ask and she'll spread her legs for him.

Again he decides to make good use of one of the back rooms and leads her along. But when he kisses her it all goes wrong. As soon as their lips touch he can hear Horatio's voice in his mind.

"_So, Eric, how soon do you think you can do something about the Ryan-situation?"_

He kisses her harder and tries to ban the thought away, tries to block out the voice, because Horatio has to be wrong, he just has to be wrong.

"_Really, because I was under the impression Eric, that you've been avoiding Mr. Wolf for quite some time now and I think I have a fairly good idea of why you've been doing it."_

He presses the girl against the wall and she responds quickly, spreading her legs. He lets his hand wander up her skirt and pushes down her underwear while the girl starts messing with his belt.

"_Eric, I'm not blind. I see the way you two look at each other. You're not the only one in this."_

He is wrong, Eric is alone in this. Ryan could never feel the same way, never. Ryan hates him, because Eric had been so stupid to resent the other man for coming to the lab. The first time he saw Ryan, his first thought was grabbing the younger man and fuck him against wall. But then there was the thought of Speed, and this little boy was going to take his place? He'd never let anyone take what had been Speed's place in the lab and he took out all his anger at Ryan. Ryan, who'd just wanted to do his job.

"_Eric, I normally don't interfere with things like this. But at one point these feelings that create tension between the two of you are going to interfere with your job and I have to make sure that doesn't happen." _

He'd come to his sense and he'd tried to make up for it. But Ryan had been apprehensive and who could blame him? After all, Eric had shot him down every time the younger man had tried to approach him. And then there was the attraction, the attraction that had morphed into something else, something he really didn't want to think about. And right after Ryan had begun to show signs of easing up, he'd started to push the other man away again. He pushed Ryan away out of fear from what he was feeling.

"_And besides being your boss, I'm also your friend Eric. I'm right about this, I know I am. Ryan won't do anything, because he's too insecure for that. So you're the one who's going to have to make the first move."_

He pulls away and almost lets out a chocked cry. The girl looks stunned and he stumbles back, he mutters an apology and practically runs from the club, because he can't do this anymore, he can't keep pining over what he'll never have, over what will never be his. He stands by his car, leaning against the door and shakes his head. How could he have been so wrong as to think that some random girl in a short skirt would help him forget Ryan?

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, slowly letting the air back out and he thinks that he should just get on with his life.

"_Eric, I'm not blind. I see the way you two look at each other. You're not the only one in this."_

Horatio's voice resonates through his head one more time and Eric opens his eyes, staring down the street, ignoring all the lights and all the smiles and laughter of the good citizens of Miami looking for a good time. A small flame of hope flickers as he thinks of what Horatio told him and a small part thinks that Horatio might be right.

He thinks back to when the older man approached him in the locker room and maybe, just maybe Horatio is right, because Horatio has never been wrong before when he has that look on his face. Eric takes a deep breath and tries to quell this small flicker of hope because it cannot be true, he won't believe it, he won't set himself up for heart break.

So he gets into his car and he gets behind the wheel. But he doesn't start the car. Horatio's voice is in his head again and Horatio just won't leave him alone. He grinds his teeth and tries to think of anything that might have tipped Horatio off about Ryan's feelings, but he can't come up with anything. So either, Horatio is wrong or Horatio is lying.

Horatio is never wrong when he has that look on his face, when he has that look in his eyes.

Horatio doesn't lie about things like this.

So if he thinks logically, if he follows the evidence, he knows that Horatio is right. He sighs and leans back against the head rest. He knows that this isn't going to leave him alone until he knows the truth. So, clenching his jaw, he starts the car and takes off to Ryan's condo.

He's only been to Ryan's condo once, when the younger man had a flat tire, his spare tire had been in the shop and no body could come to pick him up. Ryan had decided to call a cab and in one act of kindness Eric had suddenly offered to drop him off. Eric would never forget the look on Ryan's face. After a few minutes of silence the younger man had agreed and given the Cuban Russian his address.

Eric can still remember the address and it doesn't take him long to find it. He knows it's rather late and he knows he's probably going to wake Ryan up, but he needs to know this. So without hesitating he rings the doorbell. There is no answer and tapping his foot impatiently he rings the doorbell yet again. A light goes on and sounds like somebody stumbling around reach his ears, another light goes on and this time there is a small patter of footsteps and then the door swings open.

Eric can only stare because he's never, ever, seen Ryan like this. Ryan's hair is tousled and his brown puppy eyes are laden with sleep. He's wearing grey sweat pants and he's not wearing a shirt. Not. Wearing. A. Shirt.

As soon as Ryan realizes it's Eric who's standing in front of his door in the middle of the night, his eyes widen in alarm and a blush spreads across his pale cheeks. He turns, leaving the door open and retreats into the house. After waiting for a minute Eric follows and when he gets to the living room Ryan is coming down the stairs and is wearing a white t-shirt.

"What are you doing here Delko?" And Eric can practically feel the hostility wafting from the other man. He just studies Ryan, tries to see what Horatio saw, but he can't see it, but maybe that's because Ryan is pretty pissed at him at the moment. "I said, what are you doing here Delko?" "I heard what you said."

Ryan frowns. "What do you want?" In two steps Eric is in front of Ryan and with another two steps he has cornered the younger man into the wall. "What are you doing?" There is a note of desperation in that voice and before Eric gives himself time to think he leans down and kisses Ryan. The younger man gasps in surprise and Eric's tongue delves inside, licking the roof of Ryan's mouth and successfully plundering his mouth.

A deep moan fills Eric's mouth and he smirks into the kiss. His hands rest on Ryan's hips as the other man's arms wind around his neck. They pull back to breath and Eric leans his forehead against Ryan's. "Mmmm… I've been wanting to do that for a long time." Eric mumbles, enjoying the feel of Ryan's lithe body in his arms.

"Then why haven't you?" Eric looks up and smiles slightly. "Because I was… afraid that you hated me because of the way I treated you." Ryan frowns. "I could never hate you." Eric's smile widens. "I'm glad to hear that." He leans down to kiss Ryan again and the younger man willingly bares his mouth to Eric's onslaught.

Eric's hands sneak underneath Ryan's t-shirt and stroke the smooth skin he'd been admiring at the front door. Ryan moans again and arches his back and Eric smirks into the kiss, loving the way Ryan reacts to him. He pulls back and kisses his way along Ryan's jaw line. Ryan tugs at his hair and when Eric pulls back to look at him Ryan pushes him off.

Ryan grabs Eric's hand and starts to lead him up the stairs and down a hallway and Eric grins when he realizes Ryan is leading him to the bedroom. A door opens and he looks over Ryan's shoulder into the bedroom, his attention immediately drawn to the bed. He closes the door behind him only to efficiently pin Ryan against it. He ravages the younger man's mouth and starts on getting the t-shirt off. Only parting long enough to slide the offending piece of clothing over Ryan's head his hands immediately go to the hem of Ryan's sweatpants.

Deciding that he definitely wants a flat surface for their first time he quickly pulls Ryan towards the bed. They can try the vertical position later. He pushes Ryan onto the bed and straddles him, his hands skimming over smooth skin. Ryan starts tugging at his clothes and Eric realizes he is still fully clothed.

Ryan sits up and starts to unbutton Eric's shirt, he quickly pushes it off his shoulders and pauses. Eric stops stroking the skin of Ryan's back and kissing his neck and pulls back slowly. Ryan is staring at him, one pale hand slowly comes up and rests on Eric's darker skin.

Ryan takes a sharp breath as his fingers trace the lines of Eric's hard muscles. Then, without saying a word Ryan slowly looks up into Eric's eyes. Eric smiles softly and covers Ryan's hand with his own. Ryan blushes deeply, a peculiar shade of red Eric has never seen before. And then Ryan kisses him, slowly, softly and with such tenderness that Eric's at a loss for a while.

But then Ryan kisses him harder and he kisses back and god, he wants this so bad.

Ryan's whimpering and moaning and he knows for a fact that he's never been this responsive to anyone before. It frightens him a little that Eric Delko, of all people, can coax reactions like that from him. But then again Ryan should have known because he's never wanted, never loved someone as much as he wants, loves Eric Delko.

He whimpers again when Eric bites his neck and then soothes the bite with his tongue and he arches his back, because he needs more of this, he needs more of Eric. "Eric…" "Hmm?" But he can't say anything else, he really, really can't. He can feel Eric moving away from him and he wants to cry out, but then Eric's back and maybe Ryan's facial expression is giving away the despair he felt because Eric is dropping sweet kisses on his shoulders, trying to sooth him without words.

And then Eric lowers himself on top of Ryan completely and Ryan's senses go into overload because now it's only skin on skin and oh so good. Their groins brush together and Ryan gives a sharp cry and he can feel Eric chuckle against his skin and he wants to say something witty and catchy but Eric chooses that moment to grind his hips against Ryan's and all logic thought leaves his mind. "Eric…Please…"

He's begging now but he doesn't really care because all he wants is Eric inside of him and he hardens even more at the thought. "Lube?" Eric's husky voice, laden with desire snaps Ryan out of his pleasure induced stupor and urges him to think about where he keeps his lube. "Drawer, bedside table." He whispers and it's almost a whimper and Ryan hates how needy it sounds but it doesn't seem to bother Eric so he lets it slide.

Ryan can hear Eric rummaging around in the drawer and a second later there is a slick finger near his entrance and pushing through the tight ring of muscle. It's filling him up and it's searching and then it hits just the right spot and Ryan arches off the bed, whimpering and moaning and crying because he's wanted this for so long.

"More…"

Eric complies and a second finger is added, stretching him and Ryan's head is thrashing on the pillows because he can't stand it anymore. He pushes back against Eric's fingers and he can hear the other man chuckle. And then there is the sound of tearing paper and Ryan hopes it's a condom because he really, really can't stand it anymore.

And then it's Eric and he takes a deep breath and pushes back while Eric thrusts up and Eric's inside of him and it feels so good. He gives a sharp cry as Eric hits the right spot and he whimpers. He wraps his legs around Eric's waist so he can take the other man in deeper and Eric groans.

Eric stops moving and so does Ryan and Eric smiles and kisses him gently. And Ryan wants to say: I love you, but he keeps it in and suddenly a striking fear hits him. What if this is only a one night stand? And suddenly he can't breath, because he wouldn't be able to live through this if this was just a one time fuck. He realizes that he's crying and Eric kisses his tears away.

"Ryan…" Ryan closes his eyes. "Ryan… look at me." And slowly opening his eyes he looks at Eric and the other man smiles. "Ryan…I love you." And Ryan gasps and then Eric is kissing him softly and then harder until he's ravishing Ryan's mouth and all Ryan can do is open his mouth and take it.

Eric starts moving then, his hips thrusting slow and steady and he hits the right spot every time. Ryan starts moving alongside with him, his hips going up to meet Eric's and he's whimpering and moaning and it's driving Eric insane. Eric starts to thrust harder and deeper and faster and his smooth control over his desire is fading and he can't stop himself when he grips Ryan's hips so tightly that he'll bruise.

With a breathy moan Ryan comes and Eric is only two thrusts behind. Eric groans and then collapses on top of Ryan, letting his entire body weight relax on the younger man. They stay like that for a while and Ryan doesn't mind Eric being on top of him, because Eric's weight is comfortable and it's nice. "We should take a shower." Eric mumbles and kisses Ryan's shoulder. And even though he really, really doesn't feel like moving, he gets up and pulls Ryan along with him. It doesn't take him too long to find the bathroom and after helping a sleepy Ryan into the shower he turns on the hot water and gets in too.

He doesn't think he's ever had such an intimate shower. Sure, he showered with other people before, but nothing can quite top this. He's holding Ryan upright, while the younger man nuzzles into his shoulder and sighs contently. Eric is stroking Ryan's hair and pushing back the wet tendrils gently. Ryan looks up at him tiredly, but with a soft smile on his face and Eric can't help but resists.

He kisses Ryan softly, exploring and gentle. Ryan burrows even closer to him, even though Eric didn't think that was possible. They're standing toe to toe, chest to chest and Eric loves the way Ryan's smooth skin feels alongside his body. Ryan's leaning against Eric and looks like he could fall asleep on his feet.

Eric effectively sprays them off, climbs out of the shower and dries them off. And before Ryan's got a decent grip on the situation they're back in bed and he sees Eric hesitating, hesitating between getting in the bed with him or getting his clothes and leaving. And Ryan reaches out and pulls Eric in the bed with him. "Stay."

And Eric smiles and pulls him closer. Ryan's resting his head on Eric's chest and Eric's arms are wrapped around him and he hasn't been this comfortable in a long time. His mind is drifting off towards sleep and he knows he's going to sleep for a long time now, but he doesn't really mind. But he knows there is something important to say, something very important to say before he falls asleep.

"Eric?" "Hmmm?" "I love you too."

The end


End file.
